Mind's Conversations

Living in a world which full of challenge and pressure sometimes piss me off. I'm 17 years old and I have been through some and even varieties of problems from many different sides of my life. Become a girl is never easy. You should as beautiful as standard wherever you're living (believe me every places and country has its own definition). You sometimes need to pretend to be someone else in order to get something that you like or demand to you. You should do something that you don't like just for following the flow. Trying to fit in too hard just for impressing people. Well, being myself is a nuisance but fun at the same time.



So, here's 6 things that I've learned of being myself during my ups and downs period.



1. Being myself makes me feel safe and peaceful

Do things that I really love, making something that people don't do the same, it is truly beautiful things ever. I feel like nothing bothered me. Well, I'm not saying if life is just about peace and joy. But at least believe and being myself give me things that I can't get from being another people. Peace and calm. The sensation was so different.



2. Jealous is normal 

I ever in a position which my own confidence is too low for something, moreover everything. I have friends in school. She's beautiful and has perfect skin. She can sing with the angelic voice and the most important thing is.........many boys crush on her. Some boys flirt on her and she's so good at handle it. Her ex-boyfriend was so handsome and talented. I think she has everything in life. Then, I see myself. I even never dating someone in high school. Jealous, envious attack me too early without knowing what is happening behind those all. I find that jealousy is a normal feeling. Whenever you see someone look better than you, hotter than you, beautiful than you, and you want to be her or him. I just want to say its normal. Really normal. It becomes abormal if you can't control it wisely.



3. Your body is your business

"Hey, you look fat recently"

 "Your boobs are too small darling"

"I don't like your cheeks, it's too bunny."

 Every shape is beautiful and no one has due to comment over your shape. I have a thin body type with small boobs ofc :D But I don't really care about my friends' comments about my shape. I love being who I am and what I shaped.


4. Social media sucks and fake

Do you know how hard people edited their pictures before post it up to Instagram? I've learned that you don't need to be perfect in the picture. Social media is just a good media to hit your self-confident. Most of the photos there are fake, using filters, and edited in many ways. We just don't know it and got manipulated with it.



5. Friends just come and go

I had a best friend when I was in junior high school. We so close to each other. I usually spend my time at her house and playing together. We went to the mall with our other friends and went to the photo box. We do shits together at the school like prank our friends in the toilet and changed our friend's bag from their chair. We giggled over stupid things that people might think it's not funny at all. But, who cares? We just having fun. But now she's changed. We in the same high school building but different class. She has her new friends now, she's has something funnier than our jokes then, and I'm not close with her anymore. Feels like people come and go very fast. They entered your life and go from it suddenly.



6. You may hate your family, but they will always stay for you

No matter how bad your family, they always and will always be the one who stands for you. My family isn't perfect. Mom and dad always have different arguments that lead into little-bigger squabbling. My mom and my dad have different races and I hate when my mom told me about dad's race disrepute. Racism is so close to me. My brother like to bullied me but its not a big problem for me. It's easy to shut him up because I'm a big sister.



Life is full of problems but living in it with different perspective will help you to survive. Good luck and have a nice day, bruh!

Oh,well. Akhir-akhir ini jarang banget ng-blog lagi dengan alasan bingung mau menulis apa. Setelah tumblr, tempatku menulis dan berbagi cerita visual maupun kalimat di blokir oleh pemerintah Indonesia karena katanya banyak ditemukan situs pornografi disana. Kesel-kesel gimana gitu, deh. Tempat aku menulis jadi nggak ada. Tempat menemukan poems-poems kece udah ditutup. Seharusnya ini nggak terjadi tapi ya sudahlah. Nanti, deh lain kali aku bakalan bahas hal ini di next post aku.

Kalau baca judul tulisanku ini apa yang lewat dipikiran kalian hey Netiijen? Netizen maksudnya. Lalu siapa netizen itu?

Ya kamu. Dan saya. Siapapun yang sedang memandang layar gadget sambil online. Atau kamu yang membaca ini.

Latar belakang aku terdorong buat menulis hal diatas yaitu karena gemas aja melihat makin banyak netizen yang berulah. Bully sana-sini. Hujat tiada ada batas. Hey, kita semua manusia tak luput dari salah, bukan? Jadi begini, aku akhir-akhir ini lagi seneng berselancar di youtube. Ngelihatin video-video stand-up comedy nya bang Raditya Dika yang bikin perut terkilir, Nonton vlognya kak Gita di Jerman, sampai nonton vlog-vlognya vlogbrother aka John Green dan adiknya, Henk Green. Eh, nggak sengaja ada video dokumentasi yang isinya tentang kehidupan seorang designer dan pengusaha fashion di Indonesia yang masih muda banget (aku nggak bisa sebut namanya disini). Karena penasaran akhirnya kutonton lah video itu di youtube.

Nonton videonya 30 % baca komen nya 70 %

Isi komenya mostly, "Ngomong bahasa Indonesia dong", "Orang indonesia ngomong dicampur inggris" , "Sok inggris banget sih" , "Belagu banget" , "Bahasa inggris belepotan aja banyak tingkah"

Aku menelan ludah. Sebegitu bencinya, kah netizen Indonesia terhadap orang Indo yang ngomong pake bahasa Inggris? Seakan-akan orang Indonesia yang berbicara bahasa Inggris adalah hal ilegal yang melanggar norma sampai-sampai dihujat dan di komentari sedemikian rupa. Tapi sebaliknya, kalau ada orang bule yang menggunakan bahasa Indonesia dipuja-puja seperti dewa. Mungkin kalian ingin menunjukan sikap nasionalisme terhadap Bahasa Indonesia. Tapi please, dengan melakukan hal semacam itu nggak membuat kalian jadi sosok nasionalis, malahan membuat kalian seperti komunis yang nggak paham tentang definisi nasionalis itu sendiri.

Ada lagi yang baru-baru terjadi seorang artis ibukota yang update instastory dan ngomong pakai bahasa inggris disana. Menurut aku bahasa inggris beliau nggak hancur. Hanya aksenya saja khas Indonesia. Hanya karena update-an instastory yang tidak sampai semenit itu membuatnya dibully habis-habisan dan masuk LINE TODAY. Namanya juga belajar. Proses pasti ada, kan? Inget-inget aja ketika kamu waktu bayi baru belajar bicara bahasa indonesia. Ancur, kan? Nggak teteh, kan? Nggak lancar, kan? Apa Bapak Ibumu menghujatmu ketika kamu belum lancar berbahasa? Nggak, kan? Lalu darimana kalian belajar menghujat dan mengomentari proses orang lain?

So, please jangan bertindak bodoh, dong. Aku juga netizen dan jujur aku malu dan kesal sekali bila menemukan hal seperti itu. Kalau kamu membaca ini dan merasa tersindir, its good!  Daripada kamu menghabiskan waktu untuk mengomentari orang lain yang sedang diproses, mending kamu juga belajar. Meningkatkan skill bahasa inggrismu. Hargai usaha orang lain yang sedang belajar meningkatkan kemampuan bahasa Inggrisnya. Menghujat nggak membuat kamu jadi jago bahasa inggris. Yang ada otak tambah tumpul karena isinya nyinyiran rasa iri hati. Jadilah orang muda, orang Indonesia yang nasionalis secara benar. Kalau nggak perlu diucapkan lebih baik tidak usah diucapkan. Toh kamu nggak dapat income apa-apa, kan?

Ok that's all i wanna say. Aku nggak tahu ini postingan atau curhatan macam apa. Jangan dibawa serius sampai emosi. Nyatai aja yang penting diresapi dan dilakukan. Semoga harimu menyenangkan! Bye.